The Office You Know Where Milk Comes From
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Writers: Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant
Director: Jeffrey Blitz
Summary (NBC): Michael tries to be supportive after learning that 1 of the new employees is an ex-captive, just gets upset when the staff starts to compare the office to prison.
The Function The Convict: Prison Mike
The Office The Convict extras
- Blogs: Kate's Television set Guide blog
- Andy sings 'The Rainbow Connection' to Pam
- Reviews: Idiot box Guide | Entertainment Weekly | Northern Assault
- Purchase The Convict at the iTunes Store
The Office The Convict quotes
Pam: Oh, she's absolutely ambrosial!
Hannah: He.
Pam: Oh, sad. He'southward — he's dressed all in pinkish.
Hannah: That's his favorite color.
Pam: Oh. That's fun for him.
Stanley: Fantastic.
Michael: Hey, look at me, I'chiliad a baby! I'chiliad one of those babies from "Look Who's Talking." What am I thinking? (Laughs) Look at all those staplers! What's a stapler? — I don't even know, I'm a baby! Hey, Mom, I'grand thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I want some milk. And you know where milk comes from! Breasts.
Michael: I didn't hire an ex-captive. Unless they mean Toby. Bedevilled rapist.
Michael: You are such a racist.
Kevin: Look, why am I a racist?
Michael: Because yous call back he's blackness.
Kevin: He is black … right?
Michael: Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish Josh had fabricated a more than progressive choice. Similar a white guy. Who went to prison for … polluting a black guy'south lake.
Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a xc-pound female person that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Jim: Jim Halpert.
Andy: I am and then horny.
Jim: Okay, I tin can't help you with that.
Andy: Oh, I recall yous can, Large Tuna. Tell me about that Indian chick, Kelly. She seems pretty slutty. Good for a romp in the sack.
Jim: She is dating Ryan, I think.
Andy: Oh, and I care why?
Jim: She's high-maintenance.
Andy: Next. How about … (motions toward Angela). Blondes are more fun. C'monday, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.
Michael: Only … try to be cool.
Dwight: I am cool.
Michael: Okay, are yous cool, actually?
Dwight: I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm so cool. Tell me what is going on.
Dwight: I am greatly concerned about having a captive in the office. And I practise not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, High german, or some kind of halfsy. I do non similar criminals.
Jim: Frisbee-based competitions …
Andy: Are you kidding?
Jim: She …
Andy: I started the chief Frisbee golf club at Cornell. Where I went to college. I alive to frolf.
Jim: Lead off with that. She loves hunting. She also loves the ads for Half-dozen Flags, with the old guy. Also, practice yous speak hog latin?
Jim: Jonas Salk.
Michael: Who?
Jim: Justin Timberlake?
Michael: Yo, that's shizzle.
Michael: Surprised? Well shame on you.
Kevin: I had Martin explain to me 3 times what he got arrested for, because … information technology sounds an atrocious lot similar what I exercise here … every mean solar day.
Kevin: Y'all got outdoors fourth dimension?
Kevin: I would then rather be in prison house.
Michael: This identify is not prison. It's style ameliorate than prison.
Creed: Oh it's okay. I've got tons of them.
Andy: Listen, you're cute. There's no getting effectually it.
Andy: Utway ooday ooyay inkthay, Ampay?
Pam: Wow. I …
Pam: Wow. That was … wow.
Michael: I am instituting some changes to make this more similar prison.
Phyllis: I can't feel my toes.
Michael: I'grand not going for majority, I'thou going for tone.
Stanley: I'chiliad going back inside. It's freezing.
Michael: These people don't realize how lucky they are. This function is the American Dream. And they would rather be in the pigsty.
Jim: Quick question — do yous play the guitar.
Andy: I play the banjo.
Jim: Hold on, let me think nigh that, yes, that'll work. But can yous sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?
Andy (singing): You know I can, my human being.
Andy: I'yard gonna go get my banjo out of my auto.
Michael: Do you lot actually await me to not push you upward against the wall, beeyotch?
Michael: I am here to scare you lot straight!
Michael: Yous, my friend, would be da belle of da brawl.
Jim: That is quite the rap canvas, Prison house Mike.
Michael: Gruel. Sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Zero but gruel. Plus, you lot can consume your ain pilus.
Michael: The worst thing about prison was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place, and they were scary. And they'd come down, and they'd suck the soul out of your body, and information technology hurt.
Karen: Dementors like in Harry Potter?
Michael: No, not Harry Potter.
Martin: There were certain elements of what you performed, I've seen on tv set.
Michael: They are such babies!
Toby: Hey Pam. Where are you calling from?
Toby: Michael, why is everyone locked in the conference room?
Toby: They're teasing you lot. To be funny.
Michael: Okay nut cases. Get out of there. Good work!
Michael: Time off for good beliefs!
Andy (singing): So we've been told, and some choose to believe it, I know they're wrong, wait and see, cause i twenty-four hour period we'll find information technology, the ainbowray onnectionkay, the lovers, the dreamers, and me …
Deleted scene #9
Kelly is holding Hannah's baby near Ryan'south desk.
Ryan: You accept something you want to say to me about the baby?
Kelly: No.
Ryan: Okay.
Kelly: Omigod, Ryan, babies are so cute and I desire one correct this instant!
Ryan: Yeah, babies are beautiful. You know what's not cute — the fact that Kelly forgets to accept her nascence control pills on purpose.
Icon courtesy of imaclanni.
Source: https://www.officetally.com/the-office-the-convict
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